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| Secret powered running shoes | These running shoes conceal a small but powerful motor. Flick as switch and you will leave the rest of the field behind. Not so much cheating as using your brain..
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| test title | 3
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| The Ace Relay Baton | Pass your problems over to someone else with this excellent relay baton
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| The Beefy Bat | The Beefy Bat. A combination of Willow and Concrete. More mass where you need it, every hit a guaranteed four
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| The David Javelin | The most powerful Javelin in the world. NOT to be used if your school is under a main flightpath
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| The Princess Football | A tribute to our most famous sportsman's spouse. Stitched with a used thong and able to receive text messages
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| The Super Sack | The finest Teflon and Woolsack. Slip to victory and become Lord Chancellor in one afternoon.
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| The Super-Whip Pole | If you think you've seen pole vaulting, think again. With training any good athlete can leave the stadium using this pole. NOT Available to HM Prison Sports Facilities
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